The Hidden Feeling Reflection
by xLostInTheSun
Summary: He is a Homo Novus, and he really should have seen it coming.


**A/N: Hello everyone! This is my first Shamy one shot. I watched all five seasons in one week for the first time and completely fell in love with this couple. Seriously, I haven't shipped anything this hard since Ron and Hermione.**

**I want to add that I am not a native English speaker, that my English is merely half decent and since I couldn't find a beta, this is probably full of mistakes for which I apologize. I have another Shamy one-shot idea, maybe let me know if you'd be willing to beta-read.**

**I hope you enjoy this, anyway.**

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Had he been Leonard, Howard or even Raj, he probably would have seen it coming. It pains him to admit it, but if there is one thing where his friend are better than him, it's _this one_ (and this one only, for he is Sheldon Lee Cooper, the very first _Homo Novus_).

Sheldon understands and has mastered every single aspect of the universe, from the atoms making up what is around him to the far away galaxies referred to in _Star Wars_. He has a more than basic grasp on a lot of other things in biology, in history, in geography and a few other fields. If one word was to be chosen to describe him, it is obvious that it would be knowledge, for Sheldon just does that: he _knows_.

He knows that E=MC2 (and he actually knows what it means, not like all these people who've read the formula somewhere but do not understand it). He knows that the string theory is the most viable of them all. He knows that atoms are the key to everything. He even knows more trivial things: he knows that_ Babylon 5 _is an abomination and that George Lucas should have limited himself to three _Star Wars _movies. He knows that the Flash is a better superhero than Superman (even if they're both really good) and that Wil Wheaton is actually a better human being than what he used to think.

Sheldon knows _everything_. Yet he often finds himself at loss when it comes to social interactions and codes.

To this day, it never really bothered him. He _is _a new kind of human, after all, the very first of a new species, and it's not his fault that he is too evolved for others to understand him, nor that they are all so under-evolved that they don't get what he means most of the time.

Then again, it's not as if he needs other people. The ones he already has are more than enough.

Sheldon has his family. It's mainly Meemaw and Mommy, of course, but sometimes, Missy and George Jr remember he exists and try to be a part of his world. They've been here since the day he was born and if he cannot imagine life without them, it's above all because it fits in the grand scheme of things. Had they not been here, Sheldon would have organised his life differently, of course. But they _are _here and he has to deal with it and yeah, sometimes, he realises he actually likes them because of _who_ they are, and not _what_ they are. A loving mother, instead of a point in space that can help him map out his life.

Then there are his friends. Leonard was the first person he ever thought of as a friend, and he will never admit it, but Sheldon is thankful and glad to have him – and not just because he can drive him places or heat up some soup when he is sick. Of course, Sheldon doesn't forget that Leonard is a nobody in the grand scheme of things. However, on a more intimate level… Leonard's value is priceless. They have their clashes and fights but even when Sheldon feels like punching his friend in the face, he thinks he wouldn't trade him for anything in the world (except maybe a Nobel Prize, and even then, there are some days he's not even sure about that).

Raj and Howard are also very important to him. Of course, they're only his secondary friends, and they're even less brilliant than Leonard, but it doesn't mean Sheldon didn't get attached to him. They've been in his life for years, after all, and once again, he cannot imagine it without them, just like he cannot imagine life without Halo Nights and Pizza Nights and, heck, even Anything Can Happen Tuesday. Just like he cannot imagine life without Star Trek and Spider-Man and the Flash.

There is also Penny. She's basically the lighthouse that helps him navigate through the hectic cloud of existence (she's guiding them all, really, but Sheldon would never admit it), and yeah, he's grown to love her like he loves the others.

Love…

The first time Sheldon actually thought of any of them and realised "I love this person", he was shocked. He is not a creature of emotions. His mind is all he's got, and he has not time for petty things like sentiments. He phoned his Meemaw, this day, and as ever, she helped him see things clearer. Loving people was not going to make him ordinary. He could have both a brain and a heart. So he came to terms with that. Sheldon Cooper loves people, and that's okay.

He would never tell them, of course. They would not understand, they would think he's getting emotional and mock him, and Penny would probably imply that it's only a question of months (or maybe years, "let's be realistic here") before Sheldon falls in love.

And, really?

Sheldon Cooper can love people, but… _falling in love_?

Three years ago, he would have been clear on the matter. This is not his type. Love with a capital L is not for him. He's much too clever for that, and he has no desire in partaking in the global belief that Love is something else than hormones urging human being to procreate and preserve the species. And Sheldon Cooper is not a human being like the others. He's a Homo Novus, and _he knows better._

Except… except that it's now been three years that Amy Farrah Fowler's been in his life, and he's not so sure anymore.

For the first time in his life Sheldon is filled by doubt and it's scaring him quite a bit more than he'd like to admit.

He always knew what he had with Amy was different than what he had with his other friends, but that was mainly because, unlike them, she is capable of reasoning and thinking and learning. She's intelligent, a Sheldon-like type of intelligence, and it was the first time in his life he met someone who could match him on an intellectual level. Of course he was going to treat her differently.

But it was never supposed to go further than that. Yet, when she first kissed him, he simply stated the experience as "fascinating". He, Sheldon Lee Cooper, allergic to all forms of physical contact, especially unhygienic ones, had found a kiss – one of the most unhygienic form of physical contacts there is – "fascinating", and he had not even given it a second thought.

And when she hold his hand only to let it go a few seconds later, he pretended like he didn't feel that little pang of disappointment. And when he danced with her, he pretended like he didn't feel dizzy – something that had never happened to him before, and he is pretty sure it's not the dance that made him feel so weird. He pretended it didn't mean anything, all of it, because it had never meant anything with anyone, before that.

He really should have known better. Looking back on it now, he kind of wonders how he missed it. The irrational jealousy he had felt, first towards Leonard, then towards Stuart, really should have been a big clue. He had gone out of his way and asked Amy to actually become his _girlfriend_, for crying out loud!

And after they officially started dating… He should have seen the signs, interpreted the symptoms – heart beating fast, unconsciously grabbing her hand for support, starting to think of her at inappropriate times, actually accepting to take care of her when she's sick – but he didn't because he's Sheldon Cooper and the universe has no mystery for him but his own feelings completely elude him.

And here he is, sitting in his spot, just after she said "goodbye" as their date night had reached an end, and as he watches her leaving his flat, he catches himself thinking "How I love this woman", and when he says "love", he honestly doubts it's the Meemaw kind of love.

And while it's not scaring him as much as he thought it would, it's kind of humiliating to realise it took him three years to understand he is in love with Amy Farrah Fowler.

So much for being a _Homo Novus_.

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. Don't hesitate to review to let me know what you've liked and/or disliked, it can only help me improve my writing! Thanks for giving this story a chance!**


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